Bullying isn’t something that just happens in schools, or among middle-schoolers. And it doesn’t always look like a student being pushed into a locker, or teased during recess.
That’s part of the message Lynn Canal Counseling Service’s new “bully-proofing” campaign is trying to get across, said LCCS supervisor Kelly Williamson.
Williamson and Domestic Violence Prevention Initiative coordinator Tiffany DeWitt will lead weekly get-togethers at Tlingit Park to raise awareness about the prevalence of bullying and how to deal with it.
Children, parents and all members of the community are welcome. The program starts Monday, June 27, at noon and runs through summer. Williamson stressed that the sessions will be fun and easy, and people can drop in whenever they want.
LCCS works collaboratively with the school, dealing with children that are being bullied as well as those who are exhibiting bullying behavior.
Williamson has also been noticing more talk of “bullying” in the community, including during a speech Haines Borough Mayor Jan Hill made during an assembly meeting in December. Former Mayor Stephanie Scott also at one point approached Williamson to talk about holding a communications class that might make people behave at public meetings.
“It all really boils down to bullying behavior that we’re talking about,” Williamson said. “The important message that we want to give to kids is that this is a skill you need your whole life. Once you grow up doesn’t mean you’re not bullied anymore. It just changes. The tone of it changes, the subject matter changes, but it’s still the underlying, ‘I’m taking your ball. I want your ball.’”
The goal of the weekly workshops, which will include role-playing skits, casual discussions and other educational activities, is to empower those who are being bullied and teach them to “bully-proof” themselves, Williamson said.
“The whole thing is meant to pull the gas off the fire and leave the bully with their mouth hitting the ground,” by extinguishing the reaction the bully is seeking, she said.
Research shows that an authority figure targeting the person who is exhibiting the bullying behavior isn’t very effective, Williamson said.
“We can’t change the bully. In fact, when you try to attack the bullying behavior, it actually makes things worse. It’s like putting gas on the flame,” she said.
Still, DeWitt said she is hoping to attract some children who bully others. “Some of those kids are teased at home, they don’t have a good home life, or maybe they were bullied before and they are insecure. Hopefully some of the bullies will come and it will help them, too,” DeWitt said.
Many children learn bullying behavior from their parents, or other important adults in their lives, Williamson added. “You’re not born knowing how to bully. This is definitely learned behavior, and we can unlearn,” she said.
Though the activities aren’t targeted at cyberbullying, that is a topic that could come up and be explored more, Williamson said. “If they’re like, ‘Well, you don’t know what’s happening on Snapchat,’ or ‘You don’t know what’s happening on Facebook.’ Then that opens a door to talk about that and decide if there is something else we can add (to the program),” she said.
DeWitt said she and Williamson will meet with school administrators before the school year begins to discuss the summer program and how it can be continued in the school.
The program is funded through SEARHC’s Domestic Violence Prevention Initiative grant.