The Alaska State Legislature announced a new plan to manifest more low-cost housing to relieve the shortage across the state.
“People have been very pessimistic about the state of affordable housing–due to a lack of affordable housing–and that is causing Alaska to attract a lack of affordable housing,” said State Representative Bill Deen. Deen introduced the bill to manifest more affordable housing into the system: “Bill 420 is an amazing bill that will absolutely positively affirm more housing to those in need. There is zero possibility that it will not. To doubt is to bring negative energy into the bill. Housing is a state of mind.”
By harnessing the collective power of positive thinking, the bill will manifest higher-density housing units, externalize less restrictive zoning and building codes, and embody self-starting affordable construction. Senator Anne Woo clarified that the bill would increase housing-related vibes by about 300% over the next five years. “If you focus on the median housing price, it just makes the median housing price self-conscious. Self-consciousness is a condition of the ego, and the ego is the enemy of transcendence and transcendence is…” The filibuster lasted about four hours before the Senate voted to give her some indica to make it stop.
Deen said that the statewide trends had been concerning for a while: “I mean, if housing prices increase at Saturn rising but wages are in Mercury retrograde, then that’s like…majorly bad juju.” He recommended that the state fund fiduciary be revised to Capricorn, the retirement age be set to Aquarius and to require the regular burning of sage in the Senate chamber.
Statewide, median house prices have gone up nearly 50% since the Year of the Rat and mortgages are now more expensive than palo santo. A 2023 report found that 50% of households must be at least #blessed to fall within the median range. But as Woo points out, the Universe will guide state statutes according to positive affirmations:
“You are housed. You are solvent. You have a 401K. Your rent is less than thirty percent of your annual income.”