On Tuesday, during typically rainy and windy Southeast weather, cruise ship passengers Irma and Bill Budgit waxed poetic about the scenery and wildlife they were witnessing, while wearing large plastic bags with holes cut in the middle for hoods.

“Look at those murrelets, Bill! The gulls and the seabirds on their great unknowable migrations. The terns whose eyes have seen vast mysterious tracts of the planet. Just consider the great mysteries of animal migration!” said Mrs. Budgit, while adjusting the thin poncho that kept catching the wind and flapping over her binoculars.

“Meh. A bit wet and windy,” commented Bill Budgit, squinting. “Good thing we have these ponchos.”

The Budgits, originally from Flat, Illinois were on a seven-day cruise with Royal Caribbean’s Roller Coaster of the Seas. They had elected to take a whale-watching tour that afternoon, though the visibility was limited. “The one thing I really want to see on this trip is a whale,” said Mrs. Budgit, embracing the rain, “The sea beast Leviathan, hugest of living creatures, on the deep!” 

“Irma really wants to see whales,” said Mr. Budgit. “I was concerned about the weather, but they were selling these rain ponchos at Nautical Necessities for ten dollars . Not the shop that sells plastic ships-in-bottles. That’s Nautical Knick-Knacks. Not the place that sells fish tacos. That’s Naut-Tacos.” He pulled at the thin PVA sheeting. “Anyway, I thought the package with the poncho was a bit light. But it was a good deal and I mean, rain can’t get through plastic right? Even thin plastic.”

Just then Mrs. Budgit pointed at a breaching humpback and shouted, “O, Man! Admire and model thyself after the whale! Do thou, too, remain warm among ice. Like the great dome of St. Peter’s, and like the great whale, retain, O man! in all seasons a temperature of thine own!”

“Wow, Irma saw one. Well, that’s nice. She really wanted to see one.” Bill Budgit said.

The Budgits remained entranced by the spectacle of breaching whales until an especially strong gust tore the rain ponchos right off their heads and blew them straight into the whale’s blowhole.