This column is for people who remember — or who heard stories from their parents or grandparents — that staticky, buzzing melody of beeps when someone would dial in for a connection to the internet, and an equally static-sounding machine at the other end would answer.

It was called a “handshake.” It sounded a bit like a joy buzzer, without the practical joke.

It was a comforting sound of success. And anticipation. Like the air-escaping…