Local resident Kurt Mudgeon made a public statement over various social media platforms and barstools that he was against it.

“I’m against it,” Mudgeon said.

In addition to being wary of it, having differing opinions, and requiring more information about it, Mr. Mudgeon explained his reasoning: “I think it needs more permits.” He also accused it of not having the right permits, having too many permits and for having/not having an as-yet-undefined-in-code number of permits.

Should the proper permits be forthcoming, Mudgeon said he would consider being slightly less opposed. “After all, I’m open-minded. But no promises.”

When asked why he felt that way, Mudgeon replied that it represented “a complete breakdown of social order, the family, society,” and even the laws of physics. “If we let this one thing slide, pretty soon down will be up. They’ll be exhuming corpses and parading them through the streets. The arrow of time will reverse. I’ll be late for bingo.”

In a post on Facebook, Mudgeon outlined his entire teleological worldview he called “Do not go gently into that good night,” that drew a direct line from the invention of the Gutenberg Press to the Treaty of 1812, NAFTA and The Yalta Conference to last week’s assembly meeting. “Through the dim light of knowledge and with the benefit of hindsight, you can see clearly the muddied visions of Greatness. It has been said often that history repeats itself. But the repetition only reiterates that history is in the past. I’m against it.”

  Mudgeon clarified that, as a man known for his equanimity, cool-headedness and willingness to listen to all sides, “I’m fundamentally opposed to this proposed change that will hit us like a thermonuclear bomb hitting an anthill.”

He called for more meetings and discussion, where people can express their carefully considered views and not engage in haranguing or excessive hyperbole. “Everyone is entitled to my opinion.”