Monday

Caller reported lost keys.

Fraudulent cash reported at local business on Main Street

Caller reported bear in Fort Seward area.

Bear reported a man yelling and acting crazy in Fort Seward area.

Caller reported a drunk man on Main Street

Drunk man on Main Street reported a caller.

Caller reported another caller making a call.

A caller had nothing to report.

Tuesday

Caller reported a dog barking. Seriously, actual people actually report dogs barking.

Caller asked what the elevation was. Dispatch directed him to the nearest tour guide.

Welfare check requested on Piedad Road.

Caller on Piedad reported his ‘fare’ was doing quite ‘wel’, thank you very much.

Caller reported lost motivation.

Wednesday

Fraudulent cheerfulness reported by a tour guide.

Caller reported criminally poor salmon fileting technique at Letnikof Harbor.

Dog reported that awooooo. Police dogs agreed loudly.

Multiple callers reported ice cream on sale at IGA.

Caller reported horseplay outside the high school.

Multiple callers reported little Jimmy got totally dunked on outside the high school.

Disgruntled caller reported that it is all going to hell these days.

Thursday

Multiple librarians reported overdue books. Dispatch renewed their books while they were at it.

Callers reported bears existing.

Area dads report that hamburger is about ready to flip.

Parents report it’s past bedtime. No, you may not watch another episode.

Kids reported that’s not fair; Jimmy gets to watch two episodes AND play video games, he told me so. Dispatch told him Jimmy was a liar.

Caller reported kids these days.

Friday

Multiple disgruntled callers report everything too expensive.

Caller reported someone 12,000 miles outside borough jurisdiction had sent scam emails.

Caller reported a dog barking.