Sometimes it seems that politics has gotten to the point where we need divine intervention. A saint, perhaps.

If only there was someone we could all believe in, someone we could all trust; someone with eyes that twinkle and dimples how merry, cheeks like roses and nose like a cherry? Santa Claus is coming to Washington! I’ve heard some criticism like: he knows if you are sleeping, he knows if you’re awake—is that some kind of surveillance state? Well, I say—he already knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness’ sake! And just think of Alaska’s energy sector: Santa will bring Dunleavy alone enough coal to power the whole country.

Santa will put the fun back in Permanent Fund Dividend, the elf in self-sustaining economy and the North Pole in, well, North Pole.

Out Begich, out Coghill, out Armstrong and Palin; on Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen! I believe in Santa Claus!

Naughton Alf (Joe Aultman-Moore)