Several weeks ago I attended a clandestine meeting. It was so clandestine, in fact, that we didn’t know it was going to happen until the parlay was called. That’s right, folks: a traditional hermit get-together. And like any traditional hermit get-together—the goal was survival.

I was out of my cave, walking my dog Calypso down in Chilkat State Park—when out of the clear blue, two folks in kayaks paddled up and beached them nearby. Apparently—and…