Is Alaska familiar with St. Patrick’s Day? That one night of the year American-lrish people live for—yet can never remember? (The tragedy of my folk.) That’s right: I’m 50% Irish through my mother. (For those of you educated inside Anglo-Saxon economic systems—that means she’s 100% Irish.)

See what I did there? I directly challenged CVN readers’ senses of humor—as well as the existence and durability of the First Amendment—by making the most Irish joke of all time. Welcome to Irish literature, folks.

I know an Irish fella who was twice as Irish as I am—and also exactly twice the writer. (Curious math!) He had Dublin, and I have Haines.

This March’s full moon—or worm moon (named for earthworm tracks)—falls on St. Patty’s Day. But there’s a good Irish joke hidden in the etymology of the Anglo-Saxon word ‘worm’ (how do we keep doing that to them?): the original meaning was ‘snake.’

So now that the Irish have reached Alaska—and enjoy the First Amendment under the Flag of the Great Bear—maybe we can finally chase those sidewinding jerks all the way to the moon! As a folklorist, I’m fairly sure that’s how it’ll go into the record.

This letter is a St. Patty’s joke written for Klukwan. Thanks for letting me tell stories in your beautiful valley. And since Klukwan will still remember events from this century in 500 or 1,000 years—unlike bureaucrats or NPR listeners—I hope I made ya laugh!

Chris Palmisano