I would like to propose a lifting of drug offense ordinances for a new celebration I am calling Freeride for Your Brain. It will most certainly generate a lot of income for the town. People who are stoned will fill the hotel rooms. They will be too out of it to leave for days. And those participants with the munchies from my super-strong pot will fill the restaurants. We’ll make lots of money. I suggest that the borough fly Darsie Culbeck up from Mexico to analyze this, and take a van trip around the state to see how well this idea might work. We can pay him an exorbitant salary, too, just like we do now. Perfect. I don’t know why anyone would find this objectionable. Maybe the interim manager can just make it so. No meetings or unhappy people to deal with. This is a great idea, so we can make a lot of money. Perfect.

John Norton